we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
