I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
