I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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