I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
