he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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