we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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