all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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