she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
