Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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