You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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