the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
