can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
