Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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