he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
