If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I am available for nakedness
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
