Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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