we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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