Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize