well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You made out with two different species that night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
