I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
