I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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