New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I AM VODKA MAN
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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