please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize