he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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