I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
