is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
