You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
