Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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