Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
