I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
