i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Pooping to opera.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
