I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
