saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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