So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
