is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
