i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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