Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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