Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
