whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
