I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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