i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
