So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
