i just had sex bonerless
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize