Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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