why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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