I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
