yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
