I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
