Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
