the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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