watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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