Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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