It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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