I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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