My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The air was thick with penises
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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