Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
