last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
