remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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