Don't make out with my wife yet
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
