I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
