i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was born a porn star she said
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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